guess what?

i just got back from my soccer game….and I’m not ten the tiniest bit sweaty. no, it was not cold. its because the coach played me just about half the time.

this is so ironic because just last year, i was played the full game even if we had 5 subs. and its probably my fault for never going to practices because of band. but still.

i subbed the start of the game. he put me in. i dribbled the ball down about 5 times and missed the shot by inches every time. he took me out.

i sat for ten minutes. he put me in. i passed to my teammate. she missed it. he took me out.

20 minutes later (he forgot about me) he put me in. i passed to my teammate. she shot and the goalie deflected. i hit the rebound, slid, and slammed my head on the pole. he took me out.

i sat out the rest of the time, and he put me in for the last 3 minutes. nothing really big happened.

its just awful coming out to sub and just feeling so ashamed that he’s subbing me AGAIN. and then the parents are whispering things like ‘she used to be so good’ and not one cheer or good job in sight.i am so disappointed with myself. even though we won 1-0, i need to get more practice. i need to want it more.

and i need to stop screwing up.

and now i need to shower because guests are coming over.

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