tons of friends :)

well where did i leave off….

oh yes, jogging. it failed miserably. i went to the gym to jog, where i just didn’t feel like it. i don’t know why. i just DIDNT have the motivation. plus when i jogged back up to put my jacket away, my calves were BURNING so bad, even though i walked half the way. so basically i went out for half an hour and ran a total of 5 minutes….not good. at all.

later, played piano and hung around the house for a few hours. went to my friends S’s house for a sleepover. we went to the beach, then we grabbed this amazing chocolate-fudge-coconut bar from this local cafe (which i know i will regret when i wake up with a pot-belly later on in life), then we walked around. got home, drew a ton of pictures, chatted some people, ate dinner with her sister who was visiting. really awkward because they were talking about all these things i have no idea what about, and yah. plus i love their food, but i don’t want to get fat and bloated, but the entire family knows me as the girl who eats a ton but ‘we don’t know where that food goes to!’.

later, we talk into the night, pretty fun. we kind of fade off into sleep.

i wake up early, go back to sleep. we get up and her water and electricity is off (blah) so we walk to the cafe again and i eat quiche yum 🙂 super good, but its another thing i know i will regret.

went back to the house, fooled around with iPhoto, then i went home. my friend A came literally 20 minutes later to hang. we talked, ate yummy healthy food, then we called then rest of our gang (this 4-person thing we have a special name for but we were best friends in 5th grade and supposedly since then but thats another story for another day) and we walked to our friend K’s house. it was fun, she has a ton of unhealthy food that i just could not resist, but we had a photo thing and then we made videos of us dancing to pop songs.

later we went on her trampoline and bounced, then we went back in a friend A left. so since she hates horror movies and she left, the remaining 3 of us watch paranormal 2. i thought it would be wayyyyyyy scarier, but it totally wasn’t. nothing really even happened until the end. though now I’m thinking about it its starting to get to me.

anyway we finished off with a comedy to calm ourselves and forget about it, and i left. got home, played piano and i got into it and ended up playing like an hour and a half. then i played flute for about half an hour. then my dad started freaking out.

he was screaming about how my brother needs to work on his apps, and how he is so hopeless, and how my mom is always secretly undermining him and stealing thousands of dollars from him, and how everyone is plotting against him. he goes on and on and it totally ruins my day. every time i even start to think my dad is a decent person, he goes and screws it up by blaming other people and accusing us of some undercover plan we have to ruin his life. it really is awful, but i feel like my life would be so easy if he wasn’t with us. but then again, i can still think of so many things that would just take its place (like my mom and my brothers, my brothers alone, my mom alone, my grandparents’ health, my self-esteem issues and body image, my stressed-out ness, eating disorders (which i don’t think i have. I’m just healthy), money troubles….and a ton more.) , but i can’t help but feel like he is the root cause of a lot of problems

it makes me so mad when other people are like ‘my life is so awful because…’ and then some horrible shallow reason, like ‘my mom won’t buy me this makeup pallet’ well who cares, you are fortunate to a have a supportive, happy family, no money problems, not a single substantial care in the world for anything other than boys and clothes and popularity. ugh.

and about the money thing, i don’t even know who to trust anymore. I’ve heard both sides, and they are both super unreliable. naturally i lean towards my mom because she’s more likable, does rant as much, is more reasonable, and also i just closer. but my dad i know has been through a lot too, he just is extremely unreasonable, cannot control his temper, and jumps to conclusions (like accusing my mom of stealing money) I’m not saying my mom is reasonable, though. sometimes, she’s not….

anyway, that ruined my day. but i kind of forgot about that when i showered just now. 


i also want to spend more time with my grandparents this week. random, but i busted wanted to write it down so i am more likely to do it.

tommorow i have a super packed productive day…so get ready


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