parents fighting

i woke up this morning to the sound of my dad trying to get my mom to sign some document for our lawyer. and that progressed into a screaming, accusing fight, in which my dad says that she is always harassing him by not signing these documents right. i don’t know, but isn’t it ironic that the screaming man is saying that the ill women is harassing him?

so there went my plans to go shopping with my friend JC that i never see because she goes to a different school.

i called her and cancelled about a half hour before we were supposed to pick her up. i would have been super bummed, but she was cool with it.

left after my dad started drawing me into it. why? i don’t know. but i don’t want to be testifying later on in court so I’m staying as naive as possible. kind of hard when my dad explains the whole thing to me (at his weird twisted angle) and then i figure it out later to see that he’s an idiot that has been going around jumping to conclusions.

i watched about 4 hours of tv to drown out the screaming and give myself something to do.

i don’t know who to trust.

i don’t want either of them to think i am taking sides. but i know i am on mom’s side.

ugh.

played piano for an hour. its a great stress reliever, especially on those crazy songs where you can stab the keys….

ate lunch of lentils which are my favorite.

watched a movie about soccer. good movie. made me depressed because it was all inspirational and my parents are yelling in the background and my dad is threatening horrible things.

and apparently he is depressed. and thats why he hasn’t worked for a decade, why he sits on the couch and watches asian dramas all day. because mom made him depressed.

i think its true, but he started it. mom is depressed too.

i was, back in 7th grade. i considered suicide….and running away….and i cried myself to sleep and i considered cutting…

but then i snapped myself out of it because really? my life is waaaaay better than some. at least i have a roof. at least my parents TRY to parent me.

but its just hard sometimes.

and my parents hate each other. honestly, i don’t know why they ever got married. so that adds a new dimension of complicated to our multiple lawsuits going on….

and thats why they aren’t divorced.

but my dad sat me down and told me the second he got his money from the lawsuit, he was moving to china to get away.

he told me it was all mom’s fault; don’t blame him, it would be all because of mom.

fun stuff.

i did my math homework and piano theory and watched more tv

was on the computer for 3 hours.

we finally put up the christmas tree.

it was boring.

i was going to go running but i couldn’t get the energy to.

didn’t do my mini workout.

fun day.

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