bad sleepover

so i woke up tuesday morning and went running finally again. my time is still not falling under 18 minutes 2-mile. hey, its uphill ok? but that IS a 9-minute mile (possibly more) which is absolutely awful.

after trudging home the loser walk of shame, i jogged back down for another go, lost all motivation on the way there, and took a shortcut back home. i am so ashamed of myself. i think its mostly because i don’t have motivation anymore. as in, no sports, no modeling….what am i running for? self-acceptance?

got back, did mini-workout. i looked up some really weird variations on the plank and those were fun i guess.

i did piano for like an hour. i meant to just do two sets of half an hour but i got into it…

ate eggs….

did piano theory…..ugh rondo, sonata, and all this stuff thats really confusing.

downloaded like 60 songs to my iPod touch!

then my friend SS came for a sleepover. we talked and downloaded music until our friend MH came….

and then it went bad.

see, these two friends are some of my really good friends, especially friend SS, but when they are together it becomes a ‘put-down and make-fun-of-me’ time and its awful.

they overruled me and we went to the local grocery store to buy food to make dinner with.

and then they blamed me when it got dark and scary on the way there.

and then we got back and they made fun of me the whole time for the stupidest things.

we ate, but i was all mad by then and it was so silent and awkward with them whispering things about me and laughing.

i just sat there and glared at them.

after i tried to cheer up and stuff and we made music videos to white horse and eerie meenie. eenie meenie was hilarious…friend MH was jb so during his solo part she got so insanely into it. i will never let it go….so funny.

after we went and downloaded a crapload of dub step and stuff. sang karaoke. played DDR. i pretended to be awful so they wouldn’t think i was lame….or something….well it was fun stumbling all over the mat at least.

we got sleeping bags and set up. we couldn’t sleep in my room, though, because my mom sleeps in there because she can’t sleep with my dad (because they hate each other and she calls the police half the time they talk). so i told them we couldn’t. and they made fun of me more. and i couldn’t tell them they were retarded because they don’t know.,….

so i slept on this tiny couch about as wide as a CHAIR. they got to stretch out on the big ones. and they giggled and whispered while i ignored it because i was so not in the mood to get put down more.

its so strange, like when one of them goes to the bathroom, its like an instant change… its really strange. they get suddenly nicer and laugh with me, not at me….

we slept, the next morning they refused to get up, so i just made breakfast without them. awkward breakfast because i was mad still.

my mom noticed my sullen-ness and was like, are you tired? i said yeah, even though i wasn’t, and she’s been trying to get me to sleep the entire day.

i was so relieved when they left.

I’m never inviting the two of them together again.

i don’t even know if they’re friend worth keeping


BUTTTTT today went ok.

i discovered pandora!

coolest thing ever, i already got new artists and songs that i looooove, like lisztomania by phoenix and carolina liar….

downloaded music and stuff. plus i figured out the free texting app on the iPod, so I’ve been texting. bummed because my friend MC canceled on our sleepover (which i am actually really, really, RREAALY, pissed about, because we never see each other and this was planned like a MONTH ago) and also on our skiing trip! who am i supposed to ski with? huh? and why? well because her 8-year-old friend’s family is having a new year’s party. which was planned after the skiing trip.

i know, i know. I’m secretly jealous of this 8-year-old girl. because this is not the first time MC’s canceled because of her.

ugh. im an awful person.

anyway, today went to my mom’s office to get my retainer-thingy adjusted. we sat there for like 3 hours.

went home, ate, stuff. I’m going to go grocery shopping now for my grandma’s birthday….im gonna make her banana walnut muffins!

well thats it.

Published by unknownandanonymous

A journal written for me, by me. Bonus points for me if other people like reading it.

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