Grandma’s Birthday

i woke up yesterday, went running, ran about 3 miles, and felt completely discouraged. my time was 18! really, OVER 18 because it had already turned 18, and that means its already hit it….arrrrrg.

BUT today, i went running again (i dragged myself out after reading an article on about how everyone has setbacks) and i got an UNDER 18 time! thats 17-something! which is like a 8-something mile! YAYYYYYY I’m finally improvinggggggggg

anyway, yesterday. i hung out in my room trying the weird planks and stuff, then i went down and made the banana walnut muffins i was planning. i used the whisk! i don’t really know why, but i love using the whisk. i could whisk all day haha

so i made those, and they turned out really good. and i healthy-ished it up, too. usually we make it so healthy its disgusting and no one wants to eat it, but this time it was a present so i wanted to make it taste good, too.

i ate 6. only 10 in all were eaten. i made like 50.

no one even tried it!

whatever. their loss.

i read a good book called smiley-face. it was creative. plus i read the treasure map of boys. its good, that i have been reading again. i literally hadn’t read a single book for fun since school started.

my favorite spot on the couch missed me.

played piano, went crazy downloading indie songs that i discovered on pandora. like the band phoenix. i hate their most popular song, 1901, but i love their others. idk, it just got annoying.and the arctic monkeys…..and caroline liar….

before i knew it, my aunt, uncle, and cousin were here for grandma’s birthday. awkward. awkward, because just a week ago my dad was (and is) accusing them of stealing thousands of dollars from him. he was very stiff and insulting, but we got through it without a screaming fight.

we ate, which sucked because earlier i had 3 huge cups of carrot-tropical-fruit-and-orange smoothie. which is really filling. and everyone thinks I’m anorexic or something, so they were offering food to me the whole time and my brothers were going ‘oh, no, she can’t, she on a DIET.’ misters, i am on a HEALTHY LIFESTYLE.

after finishing and sitting at the table a while, i went upstairs. i looked up how to apply to boarding schools. honestly, it sound like a pretty good idea. but the dealine is like in two weeks, so maybe ill apply for junior year…idk, i just don’t think i will get in. no, thats not true. well, yes. but a small part of me thinks that, if two people i know, who aren’t even THAT spectacular, got in, then why can’t i?

but i know that they have more impressing profiles than me. my cousin is from china, so she’s know everything about the us AND china. she’s in tons of clubs, and the basketball team, even though she doesn’t really play. and the other is the president of the student body, and she’s on sports teams.

so arg arg, ahhhh.


all i have is piano and some local awards for it.

anyway, i was brushing my teeth when they decided to eat the cake. so i had an excuse not to eat it, but i still tried it (i brushed over again) it was gross. which was good, so i wasn’t tempted.

im so jealous of my cousin. she’s so perfect in every way. great at academics, got into a selective private boarding school, knows two languages fluently, has tons of friends who support her and cheer her on, don’t make fun of her, she’s pretty without makeup, she has great clothes and all the stuff she wants because her parents are so rich, she got into her dream school, and i don’t know a single person who wouldn’t trust her or want to be friends.

and my brother E, he is so likable. literally, everyone loves him. just something about him, you look at him and you want to talk to him and you think, oh, he’s a great guy. really nice. he can say anything, and make it funny, or witty, or something. it just comes so easily to him. his friends aren’t friends one day and bullies the next, and he’s got great cheekbones.



so we were reading cards, and and giving presents and stuff. then they go, what about YOU? I’m tired, and i know anything i say could never measure up to everyone else’s. so i say, ill do it later. meaning, never. look, if i don’t pipe in with something on my own, everyone singling me out and going ‘HOW ABOUT YOU???!!!” so i can say, no, i DONT have anything to say, is not going to help.

anyway, i got up today and ran. and you already know the amazing results. just showered. going down. bye.

Published by unknownandanonymous

A journal written for me, by me. Bonus points for me if other people like reading it.

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