school continues (8/19 – 8/22)

another week has gone by in school, and i spent today getting the rest i needed a long time ago haha

tuesdays are crazy because i go straight from school to cross country to band, so i have to pack my lunch, dinner, xc stuff, and band stuff all the night before. it’s madness, and i’m always burned out on that day. but it was fun, because during band i decided to be hyper and i was all excited about doing this GE thing. like bouncing around dancing excited. you know, i’ve learned that the happier you seem, the more people will want to be around you…..so i was a pretty popular person that night 🙂

also i have a new crush(es). there’s MC, who i am actually getting burned by cuz he was showing interest a while ago and then just started barring me this week (like, talking to him so we could walk together and he just yells to his friend ‘hey wait up!’ and walks away….so its almost gone cuz of that jerk move). there’s WB who’s in band and is really good, and he talks to me and is pretty nice. There’s YO who’s a freshman from spain and in my spanish class and he’s…mmmmm. there’s JL who’s also a freshman and has a girlfriend but he looks exactly like taylor laughtner…….hot. hothothothot and he’s chinese, but doesn’t look it one bit….he swims. he’s friends with AD’s brother….

actually, all of them i just want to be friends with. like best guy friend…..it’s hard to tell between crush and friends..

ANYWAY

wednesday i had piano so it was more late-night madness trying to study for my AP world test and whatnot, but at least piano went better that it has been. its so stressful….

thursday had band again, i sweat my butt off it was so hot. i wore a reallllllly revealing shirt that i did not realize….it was not low cut in the front or anything but the sides were pretty low and you cold see everything….which is what happens when you are so tired like i am. 

i’ve been struggling to keep myself awake in class and i sleep whenever possible and also involuntarily….my chem teacher sent me on a walk outside to ‘get the juices flowing’ and my world teacher  was like ‘back from the dead, finally?’. its ridiculous…. i need more sleep.

friday was crazy again: school to XC to the football game for band, then out to in-N-out with some band friends and finally home around 11….slept at 1 that day.

EMC started talking to me again, like ‘omg i never see you!’ i went along with it, and part of me is happy we are talking and friendly again, but i don’t think i can ever trust her and be close like before. 

bro E left for college yesterday. we took tons of pictures and i was late for school…i haven’t talked to him, but i heard his roommate is a total slob and snores loudly at night. hahahahahhahaha it sucks.

honestly, i don’t miss him yet because his school is so close, and he was never really home that much anyway. i feel guilty saying that though.

laoye’s second round of chemo started….he’s starting to feel nauseous. i made him asparagus today to cheer him up. i also made olive oil rosemary and cinnamon honey almonds, but he can’t eat hard things because he has sores in his mouth.

wen to an oktoberfest today and ate a ton of meat that made me feel sick.

in chem, two of the 5 people at my table have switched out. we have an awkwardly empty table.

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SO MUCH school and friends

so it’s been like a month since i posted….

i got back from china a while ago, and i’ve grown really close with everyone and i miss them to death.

band camp went by in a blur and i got off my snobby high horse thinking i was way too cool for everyone in band and i’m making great friends i can’t believe i ignored last year.

EMC and i are not friends. we smile and wave at each other but, no we are not close, and we barely talk. oh well, i don’t think she ever really cared about me anyway.

first day of school went pretty decent, and i know some people in every class.

i fell playing capture the flag the thursday before school started and had to get stitches! you know what else? i missed the first two weeks of cross country 😦

the first two weeks were fun and then i started XC last week and hell kicked in. i’m still adjusting to having this much on my plate: XC every day from 3-5, band on tuesdays from 5-8:30 and on thursdays i skip XC and go to band till 5:30, and on wednesdays i have piano (i leave at 7 and get back around 9). it’s stressful, and it’s a lot of late late nights and feeling burned out. buts its great.

XC is going awesome! i made tons of new friends and the coach told me he thinks i have potential! and thats amazing because our team is like 2 in the state and he thinks i have potential….and i don’t think he was just saying that!

band it ok, but the teacher officially hates me. i don’t understand it….and it sucks because i need to get a leadership position next year and i get the feeling it’s going to be tough with all the new competition….

piano is insane because of PANEL ugh……all these crazy hard pieces. and for the baroque piece, they actually make you play the ENTIRE BAROQUE SUITE. yes. i know. as if famous masterpieces that are more than 8 pages of hand torture wasn’t enough!

my grandpa is not doing well. he’s had one round of chemo, and the next is starting i think in a few days. he’s constantly in pain, and it kills me that i can’t spend more time with him. i tempted to just say, screw homework, screw school, i’m hanging out with my laoye. he’s so brave and amazing and my hero. every time i ask, he says it doesn’t hurt! but i know…..every time he thinks nobody’s looking, his face just crumples in pain….and he can’t eat anything….and he’s losing weight so fast. i’m scared.

meanwhile, today was the day that ERC left. yesterday, we spent the entire day with her, just us 4. we took her to the beach for the last time (seattle’s got beaches 3 hours away, and you can’t go in the water anyway…). we took pictures. we laughed, we looked through old pictures, we spent hours reminiscing about the golden days when we didn’t care about our hair or makeup and boys were gross and it was just us, the 4 amigos, having crazy new adventures every day and it felt like nothing would ever change….and today, KS didn’t have a ride so she ran to my house and ERC came but AD couldn’t…..but we made the most of our last time together. we stretched that goodbye out so dang long it was literally 5 hours long! and when she drove away we chased that car down for half a mile screaming and crying and waving.

lots of changes. i wonder what will happen now.