Concern

so this morning friend SS calls. i know right away it’s urgent because, frankly, she doesn’t call me all that often anymore, what with her being 10x more popular than before. but she calls me, and she seems down, so i ask ‘what’s wrong?’ well turns out our friend MB has an eating disorder, and she’s in the hospital for it.

i honestly don’t feel i should have been surprised. i mean, i sometimes did wonder; she’s so skinny, and she was always saying she already ate and come to think of it i never really saw her eat that much ever, and for lunch she would bring a slice of turkey with carrots, and she was always exercising and always complained of feeling bloated or having cramps ALL THE TIME and never getting her period….

but then, she was always talking with me about food and we liked all the same recipes and we were planning on starting a cooking club and becoming famous healthy-chefs as a backup plan when we would go through our midlife crisis together and baking things together made of jars and jars of peanut butter…

So out of the blue and yet so expected.

Wiz Khalifa – Work hard,….nah just work hard.

So it’s been so freaking busy I’ve barely had time to breathe, let alone blog!

School is way on it’s way now. Quick-ish run down: chem we switched seats, but that’s ok because my table is pretty awesome. We’ve bonded. Theres EZ, this friendly smart slightly awkward guy, there’s KC who’s a pretty, popular cheerleader but is pretty nice, and there’s AM, a hot popular guy that’s somehow talking to me and being awesome and we laugh and joke and are almost friends.

3rd period I have Spanish with my hilarious middle-aged Spanish teacher from spain with a super heavy adorable accent. We do partners in that class, and at first I just picked MCC (EMC’s little bro) because I didn’t know anyone else but now we are actually FRIENDS. I love that guy. Plus there’s friend JR whos so pretty and crazy athletic, and I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH HER, plus friend RK, same, and friend AL, who’s a popular junior. I’m plotting ways to get their numbers haha…

4th I have history, where I’m getting close to almost-friend BB. Don’t know much about her yet. I’m known in that class (unfortunately) for falling asleep…

5th I have math, with a really funny horrible teacher that spends the entire class talking about movies and in the last 10 minutes he realizes we haven’t taken notes, and we are all screwed for the night. PGF MC failed…

6th I have English, which is a fun class because you basically get to screw around with your friends the whole time. I’m getting to know friend EM, AC, and AU; and friend TG’s in there too!

As to cross country, it sort of sucks because friend MB quit (she had back problems). So there I am stuck with no best friend (cuz you need one, for the bus rides and stuff) and I’m sort of the 3rd wheel, plus MN, a popular-ish girl doesn’t like me so by default I think the whole team doesn’t… friend LN was moved up to the A group and that killed me…I felt like the world was going to end. Wow. That’s shallow and selfish. But it was really disappointing because all of our mutual friends know and I was always assumed to be the faster one.

More on cross country dynamics later.

But we did have an invitational meet last week it was soooo frustrating; I was one place away from medalling. One. Place. Away. Like the girl in front of me got a medal and I eagerly held my hands out for one too and they were like….’sorry girl…’ whatever. Doesn’t bother me. Or maybe a little.

But we had one yesterday too and I got 5th! Yeah, it was a dual meet, and yeah, the other school sort of sucked, and YEAH, our best two girls were injured, but I DON’T CARE OK?????

As for band, it’s going great! I decided one day a while ago that instead of acting like everyone was a weirdo and being all cool and above them I was going to be nice and go with it. It’s totally worked and I’ve found they’re all super nice and wacky. we had a tournament and we got 3rd (which we were not stoked about) but it was still fun. pus one day we got up at 4 in the the morning for a local TV news thingy on our school….i came in all in my batman t shirt and sleep shorts (which i now realized made it look like i was pants-less) with no makeup and messed up hair and barely open eyes, and everyone just started clapping. turns out there were bets on whether i’d show or not. ha.

later that day though crush JL put me into a headlock (jokingly, duh) but that’s good because we ARE CLOSE ENOUGH FRIENDS TO DO THAT! YAYYYY

it was awkward the other day though because he was talking to me and some people were like ‘jeez stop flirting with pretty girls’ and he turned all red…awk. but it’s great we make faces at each other when we pass at school.

Piano is stressful, especially since what with XC practice Monday through Friday 3-5 and band Tuesdays 5-8:30 and Thursdays 3-5:30 and meets on Fridays and Saturdays, and football games and piano lessons on Wednesdays and THEN on top of all of that challenging classes, I have little time left to practice, or even do homework. It’s been a lot of late nights (or should I say early, EARLY mornings?) but panel’s coming up so I have to focus.

There are tons of days where I go to school in the morning and don’t come home until 10 at night….so tiring.

And then there’s my parents fighting, and my dad yelling at me for being a little brat and a horrible daughter with concern for others. But that’s a post for another day, too.

And friends…well let’s just say I don’t have much time for friends outside of school nowadays. The closest thing to a hangout since school started was a 5 hour study session for AP world history one Sunday night….it’s just that on weekends, I have activities, and even if I don’t, there’s always piano to practice and homework to get ahead on so I sleep before 1 AM the next week and much-neglected chores to do and online health due in a month and my grandpa (who still has cancer, much better now, just a sec people) to talk to and after all that’s taken into account, I’m WAY too tired to do anything. Any spare time I sleep. Car rides? No longer listening to the radio and singing….nah, it’s crime and punishment all the way, and falling asleep while reading.

And my grandpa….i don’t as much with him as I would like. It’s just so busy, and whatever time I have left I’m too tired to really do much. But for the update, he’s well into chemo (he’s doing like 10 rounds over a course of half a year….most of which he’s feeling like crap but trying to hide it from all of us) but it’s working!!!!!! The symptoms are getting better and the tumor started to shrink and everything is going perfect; he’s not even losing weight, in fact, he’s gaining because we are over stuffing him with food when he’s feeling well enough to eat! Hahaha

And friend ERC is long gone, had our little photoshoot. We’ve skyped a few times, she showed me seattle and it’s gorgeous. She got into the Pacific Northwest ballet school and I AM SO PROUD OF HER!!!!! I miss her like crazy though….

Oh and crushes…..first and foremost it’s PGF JL, hands down. Idk though. I really want him to be my BGF, AND he has a girlfriend. He’s half chinese, and a taylor lautner lookalike and he plays an instrument and is in band but also beasts at swim and has a six-pack! Oh, and he’s super smart and he and I are friends and he has a sense of humour! HOW IS THAT NOT THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!?!?!?!?

Then there’s Y, in my Spanish class but I’m not sure about him.

Then there’s PGF CK but I’m not sure about him either.

MC was a fail…

And there’s CM but that’s not going so great….we started off well but as cross country progressed….yeah.

So that’s life right now, to sum it up: HECTIC.