Ice Skating

OK, last one.

I went ice skating.

Not much important about this, just that it was the only remnant of my social life over the entire week. I went with Friend SS and MB. Naturally, since Friend SS planned it, we weren’t the only ones. ZK, TG, KW, and CM also came. Popular people.

It was pretty fun. Friend MB and I mostly did our own thing. 

At the end of the night, Friend SS told me she had found a formal date for me. Who? TG. Popular football player TG. Apparently, he had told SS that he thought I was hot. I’m really not sure how I feel about that, just that he’s the first person that’s ever thought I was hot.

That’s about it.




I got there and I felt all awkward because I only knew Friend SS, LAS, LB, and HF, and I was just kind of doing my own thing on the side. But then we started caroling.

We would sing Silent Night, which was beautiful. I sang alto. I love singing alto. I love harmony. I love choir.

Then we would sing any random Christmas song, but in particular, one was Angels We Have Heard On High, which was beautiful, too.

But really, the best part was people’s reactions.

Some tried to give us money.


Some gave us cookies.

Some gave us candy bars.

Some would go crazy and get their entire household to come see us.

Some didn’t have anyone else home and were so awkward and just stood in the doorway staring at us.

Some did the same, but smiled, which was slightly less awkward.

Then some stuck out.

One was Jewish, and shut her door in our face. 

One started crying from happiness.

One middle aged one called her parents so they would hear us.

And one had a very sick cancer patient in the back who wasn’t able to get up. We sang her O Holy Night, her favorite song. That was the most beautiful.

I loved every second of it.

My Pitiful Social Life

…Is on the verge of dying.

Let’s go over what I’ve done in the past week, which I’ve had completely off.

Friday: Band Christmas party, which was surprisingly fun. Actually, band in general is surprisingly fun, now that *ahem* certain people are gone, and I don’t care what other certain people think.

Saturday: Went to a volunteer thing that was a massive waste of time, since they had more volunteers than they knew what to do with. Aka, we were useless. In the night time I was semi-dragged to a church party.

Sunday: Went on a run with Friend ED, the fell asleep at the BRW Church (that’s the Big Rich White church, btw). Went Caroling that night! Which deserves a whole other post, so I won’t go into detail here.

Monday: Practice. 7 hours, damn straight.

Tuesday: Christmas Eve! We had a nice dinner.

Wednesday: Christmas Day! Guess what I got? A check. For my piano lessons for the year. And I’m honestly so happy. Really. I’m not even joking. There’s nothing I want more. Also, spontaneously went to a Christmas party at the usual. Then a ‘family’ movie….The Wolf on Wall Street. BTW, just in case ya’ll were thinking of going with your entire family and sitting next to your very conservative mom, it’s, uh….not a family movie. I left practically in tears over the waste of 3 hours of my life that had just passed.

Thursday: Practice. Then a spontaneous ice skating trip with Friend SS and MB. This will get a separate post as well.

Friday: Spontaneous (well, sort of. We planned it the day before) ski trip with Friend MC! Most of the runs were closed, but it was still fun. I sang disney songs on the ski lift to terrorize the poor people around us who were stuck on the ski lift. So fulfilling.

Saturday: Talked with my grandpa. And a whole lot of nothing. Made raw carrot cake.

Sunday: (Today). Went to the pool with my cousin and both aunts. They were absolutely boring, so I went crazy in the pool by myself. Which is pretty damn fun. Celebrated Grandma’s birthday. Otherwise, mellow. Drank 6 cups of green tea with chia seeds mixed in. Did laundry. It was that kind of day.

*Note: Any free time or gaps in this thing is filled with practice. With some homework/chores/whatever mixed in. But mostly practice.

Family and Smiles

Yesterday, I woke up at 9. I did a 2 hour history assignment in 4 hours. I messed with my music and organized my iTunes. I read some of my Schubert book. I practiced for one hour and got absolutely nothing done, and then I took 4 hours to make a raw carrot cake for my grandmother’s birthday.

Unproductive? Heck yeah.

But you know what? I felt great about that day. Because I sat outside with my grandpa for 3 hours just basking in the sun and making small talk, and when that died out, we just sat and listened to the running waterfall and the birds chirping and and the leaves rustling in the wind.

And you know what? I made him smile. A genuine smile. He asked if I wanted to go play piano instead staying, and I asked, “Do you want me to go play?” And he just gave this slow, happy smile, and I knew the answer. And I stayed. 

I just want to remember that smile when he’s gone. 


“Do you mind if a guy comes and hangs out with us?”

Why the heck not?

So the guy came over. He was a scraggly guy, exactly the group of people that avoided me. But hey, who cares about social groups? Not me.

After a while of him making fun of my friend for studying for a test (not that he was being mean. He was just trying to be cool.), I decided to stick it to him. 

“Do you have homework?” I asked.

“Me? Homework?…..yeah. Why?”

“You should totes do it.” 

And then I spent a full 10 minutes convincing him to do his homework, and telling him why education is so important. The poor guy. He had it coming. 

It bothers me, but I really do care for people like him. Like, I want them to get jobs and be happy, not drop out of school and do drugs at the park and live at home. Why do I care? I don’t know. No one else does, and maybe they’re right for not caring. What can they do? What can I do?

Obviously, lecture about how much I love school to strangers.


My god. I am an idiot.

Today, I took the SAT.

That is to say, today, I took a quarter of the SAT.

I got kicked out. 

Let me explain myself.

Section 2. Math. There’s a question that particularly bothers me, but I get it at the last second. I proudly circle the letter on the test booklet. I begin to fill in the circle.

“TIME!” the proctor calls.

I continue filling in the bubble. 

“I said time, young lady.” She glares at me, the crows feet at the corner of her eyes deepening in suspicion.

I drop the pencil, bubble half filled.

Section 3 starts. Section 3 continues. I finish Section 3. I sit there staring at the half-filled bubble. The half-filled bubble of sections past is bothering me. It’s calling my name. Fill me in, it urges me. Fiilllllllll meeeeeee….

I fill in the half-filled bubble.

“Young. Lady.”

I freeze, my hand caught in the sinful act, the shameful act. I look up.

“That is not the correct section.”

I say nothing. What can I say? My hand is still poised to bubble, the tip of the pencil pressed against number 18 of section 2. I’m in shock. I’m in denial. This isn’t happening.

“I’m going to have to confiscate your test.”

She’s what? What’s happening? Why am I here? What is life? 

I say nothing. My peers turn around to look at the culprit, the idiot caught cheating, the dishonest, scraggly, cad. Me.

I pack my things in the stifling silence. I’m still in denial as she collects my booklet, the past hour-and-a-half’s worth of work. But really, it’s more than that. It’s the many hours I spent cramming’ work, it’s the $51 swiped from my mother’s credit card, it’s the past month I spent gearing up for the test. It’s my pride and reputation as an honest student. I didn’t cheat!, I want to scream. I want to reach into their heads and extricate the judging thoughts dancing in their minds; reach in and sit them down and defend myself.

I suffer the walk of shame to the door. The walk of shame continues to the front of the testing center. I call my mother on the phone of shame and make the phone call of shame. I am dismissed. The bench of shame is waiting for me. I sink into it and let the light drizzle of shame that’s beginning to sprinkle hit me. I sit in my misery, fully aware of my iPod-less state of shame. I wait.

And that was the end of that. Of life. Of everything. Of the universe.