Not business connections. More like relationships.

And not like relationships. Just…relationships. With other people. You know.

What was it, last Friday? Yeah.

I just talked to everyone. And made eye contact. And really tried to get to know people.

And you know, people like that. They open up. Because not many people really get to know each other anymore.

So after school, I was hanging around the band room. I see my friend’s ex, ECR.

ECR is a good guy. He’s gotten a lot of crap, because my friend is not someone you mess with. Anyway, I said hi. I skipped over to him (I was admittedly quite hyper that day). We talked.

Not going to lie, I wanted to get his side of the story. That’s not why I went to talk to him, but when the topic came up, I took the opportunity.

And you know what? He spilled everything. He spilled his feelings and his depression and his family issues and everything. And I can’t just blindly agree with my friend anymore. He’s a person, too, and now that I get his standpoint, I almost take his side. 

But really, just that he really talked to me – actually talked – that’s huge for me. 


What a mess.

Man oh man.

I had a feeling.

I took a baseball bat and hit that thought out of the universe because I didn’t want it to be true.

It came back.

SNK C likes me.

YM implied it for a long time, and SNK C went from being nice all the time to teasing me, and inviting me places, and texting me pep talks.

And then he texted me….the confession. You know the one. The huge block of a message that careens into the message box and knocks out your common sense. What do you do? Not respond? Respond? Friendzone? Is that mean? WHAT TO DO?

I left that message there for 20 minutes. I skyped ML. ML is absolutely no help, btw. I responded with the ultimate friend zone message (WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO).

And SNK C is a god. While I was sitting there in anxiety for the 20 minutes he took to respond, thinking that our friendship was over forever, he decided to give me a break and sent back a joke waving it all off. 

And that is why I love him.

Just not in that way.

YM. Again.

Yes, again. Yes, the day after the last post about the same exact guy. Sorry.

We went to the study session (not together), but after, the entire asian guy crew (Yes, all of them) waited for me. I think I’ve been assimilated. I’m officially…an asian guy. They even invited me to their Skype session last night. Pretty great.

Anyway, we were walking out. Here goes our convo.

Me: [Just hung up the call I made to my mom that went straight to voicemail] Ugh, I hope I have a ride.

YM: You don’t have a ride?

Me: We’ll see, lemme call my dad.

YM: Well, you could walk home.

Me: [As the phone rings] I could, but I don’t want to carry my flute case.

YM: I can hold your flute for you.

Me: All the way home? [laughing, because I thought he was joking]

YM: Yeah.

Me: [Still laughing, because what guy would walk me home?] Because you’re totally going to walk all the way to my house (Note: my house is like 3 miles away, out of the way for him, and on a very steep hill).

YM: (Here’s the kicker) Yeah, I’ll walk you home.

Me: [Dad picks up phone, turns out I have a ride]

***Convo moves on***

[EL calls my name, asks for my number (since we’re going to formal together. Different post, ok?). I tell him that I’ll send it over Facebook, because, in all honesty (and shame), I didn’t want to interrupt my conversation with YM. I’m a horrible person.]

YM: Nice. [yeah…that implication]

Me: No…we’re friends. We’re going to formal together.

[I’m gonna put here – I think all the other asian guys, who were having a separate conversation, went dead silent and started listening. I think. I can’t be sure. Maybe I was imagining it.]

YM: [Looks surprised] Why?

Me: Well, he needed a date, and I thought, why not? And he’s such a sweet guy.

YM: I needed a date, too! Why didn’t you ask me? I would have been like [looks super happy], of course!

Me: Really? [I was legitly surprised. And happy. Because I love YM – literally my favorite guy at LCC. By far. And I may possibly like him. So, I was pretty much calling myself an idiot for not asking him]

YM: Yeah! Of course!

[My dad shows up]

Me: Well, I’ll ask you next year. 🙂 Adios, guys!

And everyone said bye, and I left.

What do you think, future Me? What happens?