Solo

My brothers have never *really* been a huge part of my daily life.

We’re not a crazy-tight family (not that we hate each other, but day-to-day, we do our own thing).

K left for college a month back. That went without us really feeling much of a change.
E left for college yesterday. Even that went without me feeling much of a change.

Until…just now.

My mom cooked vegetables, burnt them (typical), and left them in the pot for whoever to eat whenever. I took first pickings, being the one to save them from completely burning to the point of inedibility (typical).

I took a fourth of the share (typical), knowing there were three other people in the household who need to survive off the burnt vegetables. I stared into the pot. Then at my plate. Then into the pot.

And it hit me.

There are only two other people in the household who need to survive off the burnt vegetables. Two.

No one to give good afternoon grunts to when we were too lazy for proper greetings. No one to snicker with as my mother goes through all our of names before landing on the correct kid, dead last. No one to turn on dub step music to drown out my blasting classical symphonies. No one to make fun of when they talked to girls. No one to embarrass at school by hopping, school bag thumping on my side, across the student center to give an impromptu younger sister squirrel hug.

And I felt so lonely, staring into the pot, inhaling those carbon fumes of those typically burnt vegetables.

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