On Being Self-Absorbed

I am so self-absorbed.

All my posts are about me. And it’s not that I only think about myself, obviously, but the things I decide to post about – what I deem important enough to remember to write about – it’s all about me.

I wish it weren’t so, but at the same time, there’s really no huge motivation for me to change.

Anyway.

The complexity of a person? The incredibly layered lives of those around you? Yeah, that. Half the time we just…forget. Just get absorbed in ourselves.

I understand, by the way, that none of this is original thought.

But it’s something that I always forget. I think I went a solid month or so just now thinking completely about myself. What that translates to is hours on Facebook, lacking motivation. It’s me, checking my silent phone every five minutes, and feeling bad about myself that I got no texts. It’s that voice that stops you from being earnest in interactions because you’re scared of rejection: you don’t say hi so there’s no possibility of not being greeted in return, you purposely take forever to respond to texts to show to compete in some sort of least-interest competition, you spend your lunch breaks being ‘busy’ because you’re not sure where you’d go.

I think most problems come from self-absorption. Low self-esteem comes from caring what people think. And low self-esteem leads to about a gazillion problems.

The key, then, is to move out of our mindset that a sense of self is important. I think if we all developed a ‘screw-it’ attitude towards ourselves, we’d all be better off. Insults would roll off our backs, social insecurities would be irrelevant.

And this, really, is something I need to remind myself of everyday.

Post-it note on the bathroom mirror, perhaps?

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