Career and other life goals

So, as life draws closer, I’ve decided to track what my aspirations are. Because we all know how drastically these things change.

CAREERS
1) Arts Administration. I don’t even exactly know what this entails, but being in the classical music/fine art business while managing and organizing things sounds pretty ideal and fulfilling to me. I’m only worried about networking, because gawd knows I’d be awful at that. #notcharming
2) Nonprofit management/administration. See above. Fulfilling and (I think) appeals to my strengths in organizing and managing.
3) Student of the world. Always in the back of my head is the option of living the nomad life and taking up organic farming in Scotland or something.

LIFESTYLES
1) I guess being the champion of some movement that I’m passionate about, that changes the world, that unfortunately doesn’t quite exist yet. If I do find it, I guess I’d maybe get married, but otherwise be so consumed by my calling that nothing else comes to my mind, but, um, very unlikely, this one is. Not everyone’s destined for greatness, ya feel?
2) The more realistic plan:
a) Undergrad.
b) After graduation, take on a finance or consulting job in New York City, and live the crazy, burnout, money-chasing, tiny-apartment and Chinese takeout life for a year or two. Network, network, network with as many people as possible.
c) Spend a year traveling and working, or maybe WWOOF, and generally networking for life friends.
d) Let reality hit me (I guess I’d be around 23 or 24) and start looking for a ‘real’ job, possibly through that networking I’d done. Date, get married, have kids, etc.

Leggo, yeah?

Lunches Alone

So, I’ve been at a low point lately because even though my social life is more active than ever, I don’t feel like I have real friends.

SS the other day. It was lunchtime, and I had no plans. I took a leap of vulnerability and implied/asked to hang out with her. She obviously got the message, but mumbled something ambiguous, then literally JOGGED away from me, into the crowd. I went home. I dread lunchtimes nowadays.

I’ve just been feeling this sense of isolation from PD, like I’m a second-choice friend. She called me to apologize the other day.

And the truth is, those are the only friends that are even worth being upset about in the first place.

If I ever thought I had real friends, I was kidding myself.

Honestly, I’m just waiting to get away from high school and to start over, blank slate and new people. I’m so done here.