I’m just feeling so pathetically down right now.
AYl texted me this kind of questionable text this morning, and I went kind of cold. And then when I saw him at work, I kind of ignored him, or at least treated him…not like we had hung out.
And then he texted me when he left and I thought everything was ok, and I was sitting in my car and I responded kind of late and nonchalantly, and I went to his house to pick up something, and I was totally planning on talking things through and kissing him and having everything work out right then.
That’s not what happened.
I’ve been friendzoned right back.
We talked about careers and school and work, with a solid foot of space between us. No signals. Not
HE JUST TEXTED ME BACK OMG.
Anyway. It was nothing like when we hung out last. He didn’t hint to hang out again; he didn’t walk me to the car, but I at least hugged him and he hugged back tightly. When he closed the door on my back, I just looked up at the sky and closed my eyes and exhaled.
Gosh, I was craving contact the entire time we talked. Not even sexual contact, just like a hug. His shirt was on the couch where I was laying my head, and I just kept inhaling the scent of that sleeve…
I was just…after talking to him and seeing what he values in people and how he perceives things, I just wanted to be close to him so badly. I was iffy before, but that’s all gone.
Driving home, I kept thinking about how I’ve blown it – how he’s friendzoned me after he perceived that he’d been friendzoned by me. I kept thinking about turning around and telling him how I feel. I got home and there was no text to make sure I’d gotten home safely. And when I texted him, there was no answer, until, actually, just now.
I’m just so bummed.