So I’ve been at college for a few days.
It’s…not as ideal as I thought.
Admittedly, I had really high expectation. Way too high expectations. I expected this community of scholars who loved learning, who grasped at every opportunity to learn and who were truly caring and wonderful people. I expected a group of people with whom I could be myself unapologetically, without the cliques and the petty gossip about people and parties and school, without the trying to be cool and without the social hierarchy.
Little by little, I’ve been getting disappointed.
I know it’s not really their fault – how could I expect something so tall from a group of teens? Even at a great school.
Three girls I hung out with decided to ditch the workshop to go shopping. The same girls talked about a $100 rave entrance ticket – ironically, right before a classisim lesson. One extremely annoying girl pretends to be airheaded – “omg, is a long-sleeve jacket good enough for winter?” – but obviously isn’t, because how else did she get in? I spent last night talking to a huge group of people who talked mostly about drinking/partying, clubbing, drugs, and putting down others.
It’s just not what I expected.
And myself, on the other hand – I don’t feel like I’m meshing really with anyone. There are nice people, who seem to want to be friends with me, and I’d like to be friends with them, but there’s no one that I feel that innate platonic attraction to. I skyped WB for an hour and a half last night, and it just felt so good to be talking to someone that I genuinely enjoyed talking to.
I don’t know. We’ll see.
And little by little, I am disappointed.