I was never emotionally obsessed with JS, like I should be with crushes, so I guess this is a good thing.
JS and I had a date-ish-thing, and then we kept up cutesy texting for a solid week. Kept asking each other to make plans, and it was genuine, at least on my part, and it definitely seemed like it on his.
Tonight, we finally made plans that both of us were free for. “Text me when you get off work!” I said. And then…nothing.
Whatever, I hung out with the people in my dorm; mini dorm party. Checked my phone every once in a while; forced myself to refrain from checking my phone too consistently.
Haha I guess your thing is going super late…I shoot him the message as he’s active. He goes suddenly inactive….what?
And still…nothing. Message unread.
I went out with the dormmates, hunting for a small party somewhere. We found one, I socialized, and on the way home, I walked out the door and ran smack dab into JS. Who was clearly not working. And was…with a girl?
I act unphased, and for the most part, I am. Because I don’t think I ever really was attracted to JS. I’d just enjoyed the feeling of being chased.
But it’s an interesting feeling of disappointment, the feeling of suddenly not being chased. I’d thought I was special. I was wrong. And this shouldn’t affect me, and it doesn’t really affect me, especially because I have another date lined up today. But that begs the question: would I have been this unaffected had I not had another guy waiting in the wings for me?
I don’t think so.
And what does that say about me?