I thought about confronting WH earlier today, and when the lounge dwindled to just the two of us and the tension was palpable in the air, WH just came out and said it.
“I just want us to be back.”
I wasn’t going to talk to him at that moment, but it just sort of came out.
“You never told me why,” I told him, keeping my voice steady. “You apologized, but you never explained.”
And he vaguely explained then. Apparently he’d still liked me up until we got back from winter break. That’s why he’d stopped texting me back. That’s why he’d been distant. And while I sort of get it, it’s shit. It was really shit. Why didn’t he tell me? He didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable.
But dealing with shit up front is so much better than letting one person be confused. Letting one person think they’d done something wrong, or that they had some sort of personality flaw that made them unfit for friendship. Letting that person chase the other and lean on that shoulder that isn’t there because it’s not feeling the friendship but is too wussy to let the other know.
WH, you were a straight asshole to me. I don’t trust you anymore. And I don’t know whether to let myself trust you again. I don’t know.