On AM

3/28/16, 7:03pm, notes from iPhone

Me and philosophical talks: the more I see of other families, the more I realize that I was raised in a very non-intellectual environment. Both my parents are very concrete people, and very emotional people in that there are no theoretical debates – no debates at all, actually – only arguments. No one talked unless it was necessary for day-to-day life.
And I think that’s the main reason why I feel inept during these abstract discussions – I didn’t grow up with it. Granted, I am also a very concrete person. But I also did not come equipped with these particular skills.
On a more personal level, I realize I have an aversion to being wrong. Not an aversion to seeming stupid in the moment – I never hesitate to ask questions – but I don’t want to be able to be attacked. So I avoid having opinions. This was always conscious, but I don’t think I ever realized why. I’ve been thinking more often, though, that I should purposely be unafraid to be wrong in the future. I always had an aversion to be criticized. Kind of like, when any scholar from another time is read in modern times, their ideas seem simplistic and uninformed – I never wanted to be that scholar. I realize now that it’s important to have an opinion (my previous mode basically lead to me not even thinking about the questions), despite the fact that I know my ideas are limited and will grow more and more obsolete as time passes. Furthermore, I have an obligation to do so because it is by nailing down ideas that allows for others to either build off of or debunk those very ideas. It is necessary for me to allow others to prove me wrong.

And I guess that’s the meta philosophical post of this trip.

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