On Growing Up

I think I’m just beginning to realize, this summer,¬†that I have the ability now to do real things. Almost entirely due to my summer projects, which all have very tangible, hopefully lost-lasting and substantial consequences, I’m understanding more and more the privilege of my Ivy league degree and the duty I have to use thatContinue reading “On Growing Up”

On Having No Internal Drive

I’ve been in a funk. I feel like I’ve been waiting, and I feel constantly discontent. And I think I know why. School ended, activities, ended, projects ended, piano ended, hanging out with friends ended. For those two weeks of emptiness, I tried to fill time with being cultured, watching movies, reading the news. AndContinue reading “On Having No Internal Drive”

On One’s Essence

MlH said something that really resonated with me. She’d reinvented herself when she came to college. But in that process, she’d become confused about what was really her. Was the old self her? Was the current self her? Had she pretended for so long that she’d made that become her? On my part, up untilContinue reading “On One’s Essence”

On Connecting Through Weakness

We stayed up talking until 4am, and it wasn’t about butterflies. Highlight? We each shared our fatal flaw. And unlike when I try to make myself seem perfect, I truly shared my flaw, partly because I only fully understood¬†flaw once I attempted to flesh it out to another human being. I am selfish and insecureContinue reading “On Connecting Through Weakness”

On Connecting With Those Of My Ethnicity

Last night, we talked until 4am. It was effortless. There was not a moment of silence; we not once ran out of topics. We were talking about our family problems. I think I connected with those four friends about family issues on a deeper level than anyone ever before. As an minority person in theContinue reading “On Connecting With Those Of My Ethnicity”

Confronting JKm 2.0

My relationship has been on my mind lately, especially as, with the time apart, I’ve had time to reflect on how we truly are and where we’re going. I’ve realized that I enjoy being with him while I’m with him, but when we part, I realize how wholly unsatisfied I am with our often superficialContinue reading “Confronting JKm 2.0”

On Crying at Movies

I’d thought that crying at movies was overly emotional, a transparent grasp for attention, reserved for people like (gasp) my mom. But in the onslaught of movies I’ve thrown myself into the past few weeks in project Expand My Worldview and Become More Cultured And Interesting, I’ve cried at every single one. Why? I’ve realizedContinue reading “On Crying at Movies”