On Being Miserable with JKm

I suppose I’m really seriously beginning to question why I’m still in this relationship. Alone on that kayak in the middle of the lake, I came to the conclusion that I must break up with JKm – I just don’t know when or how. I know in my heart that it should be soon. It […]

Reflections on Camping

Two days of silence later and I do in fact have a few things to report. Camping was a good mix of fun, relaxing, and stimulating, with a healthy dose of isolation and boredom. It was four days of reading and handwritten notes, daily kayaking and canoeing and swimming and floating in the middle of […]

On the moment my path diverged

Today, we have no choice but to live the questions, because the prospective answers have burgeoned. We no longer expect much sense of the world. Deferring to that incoherence can feel dizzying, and there is an urge to simplify, but simplicity is often a mistake: not pure but reductive. Your work is not opposed to […]

so I went to a party

somewhat reluctantly, but I wanted to get drunk and feel social. So I went. Humidity seeping into our pores; sweat dripping off our chins as flirted and twirled. Drinking games and balls in cups and the first waves of that lovely tipsy glow. Careless dancing, careless hugs and careless conversations about things more than nothing with […]

not quite unrequited love

I think I resonate with this NY Times article, but oddly. The author describes her college boyfriend’s overwhelming love, a heart that “pumped for the both of us.” It’s more resigned than apologetic. I think I feel that way about JKm. But I don’t think he loves me in that overwhelming way the author describes. What […]

Barcarolle No. 3, Ned Rorem

I almost forgot the feeling of flowing rhythm unstoppable a river, a pendulum steady, steady, regular, regulated a flow of inflections, emotions and yet nuanced and yet exuberant belting, whispering, voice cracking trumpet fracking string ringing flinging arms out sticks the landing hands up, out of the flow