and I was good and then I wasn’t

and I think what got me heaving and sobbing and hyperventilating was the thought of the good times

his hand on my hip bone as we lay in bed facing each other

sprinting at him with an attack hug after a week of not seeing each other

unbounded joy at the sight of him, smiling at the thought of him in class

tight holds around his slim waist, burying my face into his stomach

stroking his forehead, head in my lap

on a picnic blanket, gazing at the stars, finding orion’s belt

curling in bed around the stuffed sloth he gave me

my hands around his head, stroking his hair

hands intertwined, fit perfectly


his blue eyes

his eyelashes

his shoulders

his laugh, more like a good natured cackle

him creeping up behind me, hugging me while I brush my teeth

dancing, his arms enveloping me, clumsy and adorable

legs intertwining

full body contact, his weight

all gone






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