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he didn’t text me today

and I feel

I don’t know

I was cautious, am cautious. I don’t want to care more. I don’t want to feel vulnerable. I poked and pulled and floated safely outside his reach

But I suppose I was never sure

I don’t know you

You’re uncomfortable, he speaks into the lull, with us

It is true

I realize I don’t know him because I take nothing he does or says at face value

He is too earnest, too perfect, it is not real

but he didn’t text me today

so I guess

it wasn’t real

in the first place

and if I expected this, then why am I disappointed?

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