the reflective mood that puig plunged me into

molina speaks about the unconditional love of his mother

do I even want that unconditional love? I don’t think so

I want to be loved conditionally, and strictly conditionally

I want to be worthy of love that is conditional only

I suppose that’s a desire that comes from a desire to actualize myself

as opposed to if one is actualized, then that love comes already, and unconditional love is the only type still left to conquer

but then again, the paradox lies in that it can’t be ‘conquered’; there is nothing to ‘conquer’, it just is, and the individual can’t do anything about it as part of its inherent nature

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