if I am specifically romantically attracted to ease, does that explain all my past stumbling? I think I require a deliberate show of intentional affection. And does the type of ease I am attracted to show that in a way I am uncomfortable with?
WB and our tumultuous, uncertain friendship. JS now and my questioning of his true interest.
And then do I find myself falling back on people like JKm, who I am not nervous around because I am not instantly attracted to them, and whom with in contrast I feel that I am perceived with ease relative to them, and therefore have the upper hand?