journal #6 12/30/16

12/30/16, 11:59pm, brother E’s apartment in l– —–

left k–‘s house this morning and biked into a light drizzle around 10am. it was a smooth ride down a very mundane avenue; my attention was unfocused until we hit the coast and its beautiful water. we stopped spontaneously to pose in front of some gorgeous murals and stayed for what turned out to be a mini conservation museum and a quiet lunch on a bench. we headed back in the exact same direction to hit up a toy shop that no longer had what JH had wanted to see, and we ended up mulling about that shopping center for a bit. headed out to make it the rest of the way, slowing and speeding at will; we biked past a set of beach swings (BEACH SWINGS), after which I turned us around to stop and smell those fucking roses. I think that was the highlight of my day — what more could I ask for? a beautiful view of the ocean, the sandy ground, the cool breeze, the pink sky, the quiet, the thrill and simple joy of a swing. I think that’s as close to heaven as I’ll ever get.

we continued on and made our way inland through the city, which was less calming, of course. after a few wrong turns, we finally landed into brother E’s apartment, which turned out to be quite shitty in every way except for that it is equipped with very, very nice speakers. it’s a bizarre set of priorities, of course.

somehow I’m too tired to reflect right now; there’s no interiority here. I talked a bit with JH last night about our friendship, and I realize that he opened up a bit more about his high school life before we were friends. I realize that he’d never really mentioned that before.

JH — he’s been pushing my buttons. lashing harshly, quickly, unforgivingly at me for little reason, or at least in situations that should otherwise have not even been comment worthy. assuming incompetence, implying incompetence with his tone. texting constantly when we’re together, such that there’s not even true interaction between us; the in-between times he fills with his phone and his girlfriend. it’s annoying and frustrating, and at times it’s hard to be the bigger person and refrain from taking shots back. I talked to him about it. he somehow doesn’t seem to be changing. I don’t know where it’s coming from — I theorize that it’s a newfound cockiness that comes from him having a girlfriend. it’s such that when he mentioned doing future biking trips, I was actively unenthusiastic at the thought of planning another long-ish trip with him. we’ll see how things go when WB joins.

other than that, today was definitely my favorite day, solely because of the peaceful biking that made up the first portion of the mileage, and then another 100% because of that beach swing. solid.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s