nothing artistic or reflective this time, which, I will say, means this is something right. the best relationships are the ones that you don’t need to constantly reflect on and think through (hence, the general down mood of all the posts on here).

but! a somewhat significant event, and so, I compel myself to write this:

HJ! where to begin! a wonderful fellow. a sweet fellow, if not a ravishingly fuckable one, he makes up bountifully with earnest and ease.

not to mechanize the process, but shall we check off the boxes? a bookworm! a shockingly matching spotify discover playlist (no small feat for an experimental electronic – bluegrass – funk – afrobeat – folk-lovin’ individual like myself)! a love for the outdoors! a frisbee fellow! a meditator! a movie buff! a twee bit of adorable nervousness!


I’ve done this far too many times now; shall we see this familiar format:

the quintessential romantically-interested texts in which both parties talk about nothing and that is quite alright;

the subtle but not so subtle asking of plans for the night and leaving said plans open for a potential meet up;

casual oh so casual brushing of the hand on an arm to break that wee little bubble of personal space segueing into a casual oh so casual hand placed on a leg or a back or a hand and a deliberate ignoring of that elephant;

charming conversation floating like a balloon that I keep bopping up and up again until I tire of the exercise and allow it to happen;

it being the lull, the break, the opening, so to speak, the eyes dropped, nonchalantly peaceful quiet that the music and conversation has casually oh so casually mellowed down to in which the more deliberate of the two, the individual who was not playing around, seizes the quiet that was withheld and casually oh so casually says something along the lines of:

I think you’re cool and pretty, and —

and the individual who is playing around bops the balloon up just for kicks with a:

I think you’re cool and pretty too!

but the individual who is not playing around forges on ahead, strong and determined, and throws out this zinger:

Can I kiss you?

and the individual who is always playing around has enough socialization such that they realize that bopping the balloon this time might result in a deflated balloon, and so the individual decides, finally, to play along.

one more thing:

the individual knows it’s going well when the other individual

jumps on opportunities to make plans

intertwines fingers, easily, naturally, casually actually casually

references future events for when the weather is warm enough to walk around outside in the dead of winter

Published by unknownandanonymous

A journal written for me, by me. Bonus points for me if other people like reading it.

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