shrink away

I suddenly feel my new life turning against me, myself becoming an endless consumer of input of books and ideas and media and experiences and it suddenly horrifies me; I feel that I am empty and hollow without this stream of input and I think: perhaps the answer is retaliating with output, but I feel wholly unprepared to do this, and otherwise I do not wish to live in, to succumb to, the reactionary mode, that which I have so often recently detected in myself —

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