what is this feeling

I want to see him so badly and yet I deny myself that at his expense. And so I avoid him: avoid his messages, avoid his reaches for connection, avoid his plans. Because if they aren’t exactly enough exactly when I need them, I decide they are all facades, all the time. And because theyContinue reading “what is this feeling”

I found this old post from last semester and think it’s quite interesting my tweaked relations to these people. An edited list people I have thus far successfully collected and the remarkable quality I probably was drawn towards ES – a whole host of bizarre mannerisms, combined with her apparent ADHD-style genius –> kind, just so kind,Continue reading

11/11/17, 1:54am

The first time, we were coming down. Surreal, soft: I am yellow and she is brown and you are gleaming, you are all gleaming. I am a pendulum: disbelief/wonder/disbelief. Who could you possibly think I am? Fairy lights and jaunty conversation about your day your day your day and this is how I find outContinue reading “11/11/17, 1:54am”

post a marxist essay on chinese women

I find that dialogue around the racialized experience in the US is odd in that it completely excludes the relationship with the home country. While I am not Chinese, my parents are. My extended family is. They all exerted pressures and mapped influences onto me during my most impressionable periods of development, and the exclusionContinue reading “post a marxist essay on chinese women”