If I Was Honest About Who I’ve Had A Crush On

FRESHMAN V. Planning my outfits around the days that I would see him. So coyly ignoring him in class – s much that I think he thought I disliked him. Assuming that he liked me when he messaged me on Facebook just to chat. Talking loudly, acting confused about a math problem that I clearlyContinue reading “If I Was Honest About Who I’ve Had A Crush On”


Relationships blowing up and developing and straining and fading. Complicated feelings. Long talks in dark cars with JH. Crawling up to AYl and kissing sideways as he lies down. His smiling eyes. “You’re distracting me,” cuddling on the couch. Saturn and Hercules. Mosquito bites. Borges. Packing and moving and screaming and crying. Phone calls andContinue reading “Snapshot”

When EMC and WB and I collide

Oh, goodness. I guess, if you’ve been following my influential relationships for the past few years, you would be well acquainted with the roller coaster that is EMC, and the rocky road that is WB. EMC dropped a huge text bomb on me, just as I had come to terms with the relationship. She acknowledged the troublesContinue reading “When EMC and WB and I collide”

An Update on the Relationships I’ve Forgotten About

I guess when people fade out of your life, sometimes it’s seamless. YM. We hung out solo a few times, and saw each other in group settings, and then both of our attendances to the group settings got spotty, and we kind of didn’t talk to each other in the group, anyway. I haven’t seenContinue reading “An Update on the Relationships I’ve Forgotten About”


Pentatonix Christmas songs. O Come, O Come, Emmanuel. Aspiring to my sodding take on Carol of the Bells. Too much Buzzfeed. Comforting AD about Pakistan. Burnt cookies from EMC. No friends. Where to go at lunch? Empty. Off-campus. Actually talking to ED. Getting ignored by WB and being absolutely sick of it. Shooting stars withContinue reading “Snapshot”


EMC. So much angst. So much anger and thoughts and dreams wasted over her. Need some reminders? My unofficial best friend, freshman year. I trusted her, put so much into that friendship, made myself so vulnerable, all for the first time, because of course I had (have) trust issues. And then she wasn’t. It just…ended.Continue reading “EMC”

Re-Entering Band

Well. After going through random periods of ups and downs, confidence and absolute discouragement, today was the day of the band banquet. First of all, I almost didn’t go at all. I simply didn’t want to spend a night of awkwardness with people I barely knew.  That was extremely idiotic, though, because I had alreadyContinue reading “Re-Entering Band”

Track Drama and Life Lessons

Alrighty. Here’s another episode in ‘Track Drama’. So here’s what happened. Remember my ‘unbeatable time’? Yeah….they beat it. It’s because they got to go to an invitational meet that I really should have gone to, and the conditions were really good, and they both PRed. MW matched my time. Exactly. EXACTLY, down to the hundredthsContinue reading “Track Drama and Life Lessons”