Today was the first day I felt normal again.
It’s fall, which takes me straight back to this time last year. The brisk air, the peacoat pulled out far too early and too eagerly. I bounced to class across campus with WH by my side. It’s the same and it’s completely different.
I talked to a guy today – we’d met last year, on the same night I’d met JKm and gotten his number and hung out in his room. We’d walked to that party together. I hadn’t remembered him until recently. AF.
We did homework a bit together and talked a bit. He seemed eager to get to know me. We exchanged contact info on the premise that we would do homework together again in the future.
It’s far too soon to start anything. And yet, when I’m distracted, I feel like the year had never happened. I feel free. It’s only when I remember that the past comes curling around my ankles…
Finals are over, the dorm is packed, and I leave via public transportation (fingers crossed I end up in the right state) in two hours.
The last few days have been amazing. I’m reminded how I need to take time to truly relax – it’s just been quality time. Listening to a symphony with WH. Spending all day with AM and sending him off. Grabbing lunch with ES. Spending the night at JKm’s.
Last night was…bittersweet. I know it’s only three weeks. But I’m going to miss him so much. We slept a grand total of four hours, took two showers, and spent the night just talking and kissing. My first orgasms. My first salad from the eatery. My first time being completely comfortable with our nudity. Our first time pooping in front of each other.
Full disclosure on how much he’d liked me before we’d started dating. Those chocolates? He’d walked to the store that morning to get them. When we’d seen his grandparents that one night at the concert? He’d told them ahead of time. When he invited me over for a movie and retracted the offer five minutes later? He’d been nervous that I’d think ‘Netflix and chill’, and paced around his dorm in a panic while his roommates shook their heads.
We care for each other. I can’t imagine this ending.
How can I ever be single again? Holding his hand and walking around, kissing under the blue sky and fall leaves in the glowing light, kissing through smiles, running my hands over his chest, touching noses…
Just knowing that he’s completely into me, and I’m completely into him. It’s an amazing feeling.
I don’t really have much to write. No big events. No problems, even, really. Just daily life and everything is la-di-da and amazing.
My grades in all my classes have settled (since now tests and whatnot have been entered) and I have solid A’s…except for freakin’ english because my insane teacher VS refuses to accept late work (and I even did it! I just forgot to bring it!)
Oh yes, we had a socratic seminar. I was pretty outspoken. Surprising, I guess. Last year I said nothing, and this year I basically lead the discussion.
Band is going well also. Since giving up on appearances and judging, I have so much more fun and friends in band…I love helping people. And it’s definitely coming back around.
Piano…slightly obsessed. I don’t go outside much 😛