where have I been?

You’ve been extremely good, a little lonely, content with your friends, feeling alienated from close friends, feeling alienated from fading friends, feeling like a second-class friend, suddenly ready to cut people out, exceedingly comfortable with the people you love, willing to reach out to people you’ve looked over, unsure if this was out of desperation,Continue reading “where have I been?”

07/23/17, 10:50pm

Excuse me, but I do believe we have met before. There is simply something about the way you walk, talk, move with your shoulders thrust back when you step and your neck crooked forward when you focus. Your curls are ever so slightly flattened on the side you slept on this morning, though sometimes itContinue reading “07/23/17, 10:50pm”

07/23/17, 11:31am

Sprung from your forgotten dreams, it came in the morning, followed you from crooked bed to quick turn of the doorknob, the eyes turned to the cool grain away from the soft groan of his consciousness. It trickled and pooled against the pads of your toes, weighted your skin to acquiescing gel into well-worn grooves.Continue reading “07/23/17, 11:31am”

I don’t know how to explain how I’m feeling

other than that I just hung out with three people, one of which is a friend, and the other two of which are previous ‘co-workers’ who are really quite amazing and sweet, witty and confident and wonderful, and yet I can tell that there’s a distance between us, that I cannot be friends with them.Continue reading “I don’t know how to explain how I’m feeling”

the coming and going of civilization

As your friendship with AM slowly crumbles even after you’ve both identified the problem and actively work to hold each other up As your long-distance conversation with JH dwindles to a reluctant phone call and you haven’t sent each other music in forever As you sit on a park bench and sigh and RK letsContinue reading “the coming and going of civilization”

05/21/17 10:08am, on the plane from DC to Beijing

You’re ending with a shot of your friends outside at twelve-thirty in the morning outside on the quiet green. You were lying down, and they are all laughing so very genuinely that you feel a rush of affection just looking at it, and it is slightly blurred and lopsided so perhaps you were very genuinelyContinue reading “05/21/17 10:08am, on the plane from DC to Beijing”

05/21/17 10:38am, on the plane from DC to Beijing

You think about the goodbyes. You woke up with HJ and checked the time and hollered that He Was Late and chuckled afterward at the memory of him shooting out of bed instantly, pure panic on his radiating face in his bright green shirt. You scrambled to help stuff the sleeping bag, throw out theContinue reading “05/21/17 10:38am, on the plane from DC to Beijing”

on interactions

I never know quite how to interact with someone who effusively compliments me. Do I stand there and accept them at the risk of seeming bigheaded? How does one accept compliments in a way that is simultaneously humble and confident? Do I attempt to reciprocate at a similar breakneck speed? Do I reject the praise?Continue reading “on interactions”

an artless snapshot of my friendships

This weekend, I had so many invitations I didn’t know what to do with them. I’ve magically become friends with MC, and after meeting her friends for a weekend, I remember now what it’s like to have a group of people genuinely want to get to know you, who value you. I realize that perhapsContinue reading “an artless snapshot of my friendships”