the coming and going of civilization

As your friendship with AM slowly crumbles even after you’ve both identified the problem and actively work to hold each other up As your long-distance conversation with JH dwindles to a reluctant phone call and you haven’t sent each other music in forever As you sit on a park bench and sigh and RK letsContinue reading “the coming and going of civilization”

06/21/17, 10:27pm

I have a problem with the word ‘intellectual’. I have a particular, scathing, tear-my-eyes out, secretly, passively fuming problem with an individual using the word ‘intellectual’ to describe themself, or their actions, or their pursuits, or really anything that allows for an individual to scion out the word ‘intellectual’ like sticking a hot knife intoContinue reading “06/21/17, 10:27pm”

an artless snapshot of my friendships

This weekend, I had so many invitations I didn’t know what to do with them. I’ve magically become friends with MC, and after meeting her friends for a weekend, I remember now what it’s like to have a group of people genuinely want to get to know you, who value you. I realize that perhapsContinue reading “an artless snapshot of my friendships”

journal #14, 1/4/17

1/4/17, 2:42pm, sitting in the chair by the screen door in m—-‘s house in s— b—-; WB and JH are in the other room I am honestly so done with JH, I’m not even reflective right now. I am angry. I am not understanding, and I have no desire to continue this friendship. he is *mean* —Continue reading “journal #14, 1/4/17”

journal #15, 1/5/17

1/5/17, 12:16pm, sitting outside smart & final in c—— I suppose a lot has happened in the past 12 hours. JH and I fixed things with a long, mature conversation. things between us are fixed — actually fixed this time. I had *fun*, genuine fun, for the first time the entire trip. I missed this,Continue reading “journal #15, 1/5/17”

more thoughts on romantic attraction

if I am specifically romantically attracted to ease, does that explain all my past stumbling? I think I require a deliberate show of intentional affection. And does the type of ease I am attracted to show that in a way I am uncomfortable with? WB and our tumultuous, uncertain friendship. JS now and my questioningContinue reading “more thoughts on romantic attraction”

more thoughts on what that list brings to light

The total package is the person with the remarkable quality, a kindness, an ease in interactions, and a strength of character. I think there are some people on that list who have all but the strength of character, but they’re made up such that everything else makes up for it and I still want to get toContinue reading “more thoughts on what that list brings to light”