I don’t know how to explain how I’m feeling

other than that I just hung out with three people, one of which is a friend, and the other two of which are previous ‘co-workers’ who are really quite amazing and sweet, witty and confident and wonderful, and yet I can tell that there’s a distance between us, that I cannot be friends with them.Continue reading “I don’t know how to explain how I’m feeling”

These are pathetic problems

Running the event that we spent all year planning, somewhat bonding with the team, it was fun. But what bothered me is that none of my friends came. I have no friends to automatically hang out with. Sure, I get invited to things. But I don’t want to be invited. I want to be immediatelyContinue reading “These are pathetic problems”

Dream

God – a horrible dream that speaks to my friendship issues right now. I’m visiting PD at her college. I say some offensive, like being surprised that she’s a legacy to the school (she’s not actually in real life, but she was in this dream), and somehow implying that that was why she’d gotten in.Continue reading “Dream”

Feeling alone

I guess the sucky part of having an official boyfriend is the expectations. I was sick last night, and miserable, on the biggest party weekend of the year. He’d volunteered to stay in with me. I’d half-heartedly fought against it, and happily accepted. But on his part, his shows were superficial. He invited to hisContinue reading “Feeling alone”