As I’ve always done with beautiful people, I’ve long only noticed Harry Styles from afar. I never fully allow myself to love things that I feel are too bright and too clean for me, and if One Direction was the pack of popular boys in school, then Harry had prettiest face of them all. He’sContinue reading “I’m really getting into Mitski”
I resolve: to actively write more journals when I am in a good place, with the knowledge that reading good place journals can actively bring me to a good place.
I despise performativity for the sake of it: performing a persona in order to be perceived a way, for social capital. But performance for the sake of purpose — that, I feel in this moment of my great arc of thought, is important for me, to feel whole.
Reading novels like Einstein’s Dreams, texts that survey human life and distill it to simple actions of arbitrary and interchangable men and women — always put me in an odd state of mind. The Bible. One Hundred Years of Solitude. I can’t quite describe it. It takes me out of the present, takes me outContinue reading “05/29/17 3:32pm, sitting at the supper table with LaoLao reading Einstein’s Dreams”
It’s the end of a semester and I’m sitting on a thirteen hour flight listening to nostalgia-inducing but not necessarily inherent nostalgic music; rather, it’s music that I listened to while high just about a year ago from now — the end of freshman year, last year — and listening to it now makes meContinue reading “05/21/17 8:51am, on the plane from DC to Beijing”
I want to love China. I want this culture that is somehow supposed to be mine, which I am supposed to represent — I want to be able to cherish it, to have Asian Pride, to bring it forcefully crashing against whiteness, against assimilation. But here’s a secret. I hate China. I hate the hyper-humbleContinue reading “05/25/17 6:27pm, on my bed in Beijing, China”
JS is sitting on the steps outside my dorm when I walk out. I see him out of the corner of my eye: a solid pink sweatshirt and a penny board. We throw each other an obligatory wave and head nod. *** Vignettes of the weddings I would have had with each of my pastContinue reading “on the walk here”
a cultural difference in love; a gap that not only cannot be crossed but is mistaken for its antithesis a forcing of an identity: one which I do not want, one which I am born into and out of, one that I will never escape and so: I must embrace it, turn it inside out,Continue reading “native speaker”
8/15/16, 9:29pm, notes on iPhone walden the importance of reading but also that he prioritized living in the nature the sounds – minimal human sounds, lengthy descriptions of nature (birds, leaves) visitors solitude appreciating the pond – water is green in large quantities, like glass
5/29/16, 6:40pm, notes from iPhone Bob Clyatt Just walked around Marcus Garvey Park in Harlem in nyc Wanted to see what it was really like and put context to what I’ve been reading about It was a shockingly stark difference of the appearance of the neighborhood just a few blocks of difference Much, much worseContinue reading “5/29/16, 6:40pm”