that conversation

Why are you smiling like that? Oh, just every time you look up at me it’s hilarious. But you also just smile when your eyes are closed. You smile in your sleep. Well, with my freshman year crush next to me, how could I not? Wait, what? I was your freshman year crush? Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah.Continue reading “that conversation”

more thoughts on romantic attraction

if I am specifically romantically attracted to ease, does that explain all my past stumbling? I think I require a deliberate show of intentional affection. And does the type of ease I am attracted to show that in a way I am uncomfortable with? WB and our tumultuous, uncertain friendship. JS now and my questioningContinue reading “more thoughts on romantic attraction”

12:31am at the garden on the floor

I did it and I almost can’t believe I did it and it happened and it’s happening and when I wake up tomorrow it will still have happened He begged me to give it a second chance and I had to say no four fucking times four fucking times And I was his light andContinue reading “12:31am at the garden on the floor”


On the —- trip – feel somewhat isolated from the group even though the group banter is easy for once. I’ve noticed an isolation of K which I’ve noticed I somewhat participate in – she comes off as whiny and selfish although that may just be her downcast demeanor. It makes me sad that someone’s demeanorContinue reading “9/1”